What is the Ick and What to Do About it

What to do about the ick

Everything is going well with your partner, you’re having a good time, and suddenly you get really disgusted by the way he pronounces a certain word and now you’re suddenly completely turned off? Once “the ick” happens, you can’t stop it but become more and more irritated with everything your partner does.

Suddenly, you realize he looks extremely stupid while enjoying his music, or even the way he dresses, which wasn’t a problem initially.

The worst part is that the ick is completely involuntary and it can be caused by the most trivial things.

If you think about it, it sometimes we experience a similar cringe factor with family members too, but that doesn’t mean we end our relationship with them.

With boyfriends, however, we sometimes do, as the root cause of the ick is slightly different.

Can you Do Anything Once You Get the Ick in a Relationship

What can you do about the ick

“The ick” resembles a sort of cringe you get from something the other person does, which eventually transfers to his whole personality. Although it’s not a real diagnosis, it’s something that probably everyone who has been in a relationship has experienced, and it’s a very real feeling with a specific explanation.

It is not about his character and it doesn’t depend on whether or not you two are compatible together. It happens on a rather subconscious basis and it’s a very strong feeling that you suddenly don’t want to be with that person.

The feeling is hard to shake off and it’s usually an instinct for a deeper problem in the relationship, such as the fact the person has different values from your own.

If the cause of the ick is part of the person’s natural characteristics and mannerisms, it means he’ll not be able to change so in that case, it’s better to end the relationship.

Different Examples of the Ick

Differend kinds of ick

To better understand whether or not you’ve got the ick, we’ve gathered some examples that will probably show you that you’re not alone and that other people have felt disgusted by some very trivial things too.

The feeling became very popular on TikTok, where people have shared that they felt the ick from their partner getting a buzz cut or an iPad, holding their hand in public, singing in the shower, clapping when the plane lands, or even double texting.

There are also some more conventional examples of cases when people have been broken up with due to the ick, such as having a bad tattoo, having a weird laugh, wearing socks to bed, etc.

To someone who has never experienced the feeling, it might look extremely weird or unacceptable to ditch somebody because of such a thing.

To someone who has been there, however, it is clear that once the ick happens, it can’t be stopped, because it is actually an expression of deeper psychological reasons.

Should you Feel Bad About Ditching Somebody Because of the Ick

Ditching someone because of the ick

Experts actually that the ick is an important sign and you shouldn’t ignore it. Even if you try to suppress the feeling for a little while, there will come a moment when you will suddenly start completely not being able to stand the person.

The ick is just a small warning sign about something bigger. If you don’t act when it’s time, things will become more complicated and you might end up breaking up in a much more devastating way for both of you, than if you would have acted sooner.

The feeling is a reflection of differences between the two of you that are so deeply rooted that you can’t spot them in any other way, so the little things give them away.

There are some cases in which the ick is actually a reflection of your own shames and worries. In that case, you should actually work on your own problems, instead of projecting them onto another person.

Is the Ick a Sort of a Red Flag

Although the ick has made many people break up with their partners, it’s not actually a red flag. It doesn’t mean that the person is bad or toxic, it is simply a feeling of disgust that is supposed to tell you that you two are not meant for each other.

Red flags usually tell us that the person will be toxic or harmful to us and the relationship will be an unhealthy one, while the ick is a much more innocent feeling. That is exactly the reason why people feel guilty about breaking up with their partners over it.

Staying in a relationship despite the feelings of disgust will eventually become toxic because it is a sort of lying, so it’s best to swallow the feeling of guilt and be honest with your partner.

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