“When one door closes, another opens”, “It will pass”, and “He didn”t deserve you anyway” …you’ve probably heard these and many more “comforting” phrases after you’ve broken up with your partner. We seriously doubt that they’ve succeeded in really comforting you.
Although it can be irritating, you have to forgive people for not knowing what to say or how to truly support you. In reality, there are very few people who really know how to be there for you in such hard times.
Even if you have support from your closest friends, there is still a lot of work you have to do on your own to heal from a breakup.
We’re here for you too, and below we’re giving you our tried-and-true tips for turning a breakup into a new beginning.
How to Turn a Breakup into a Positive Thing
Believe it or not, there is actually a silver lining to a breakup.
There is a Chinese tradition called Kintsugi, which includes filling cracks in broken pottery or even gluing them together with molten gold. In that way, people turn a broken object into something that is even more beautiful than it was in the beginning.
That is what is going to happen with your own heart after you heal properly. The general rule for that is to look for ways to turn the breakup into something positive, even if it looks impossible at the moment.
Only after you manage to do that, you’ll become stronger and grow. If you’re wondering how you will manage to get the silver lining of a breakup, read below.
You are Allowed to Feel
The most important thing to remember is the fact that you are allowed to fully feel your feelings and let the emotions flow until they pass.
People might be trying to tell you to cheer up, but trying to suppress your feelings is neither healthy nor helps you in any way.
Cry as much as you want, write your feelings in a diary, and share your pain with friends if you want to. The feelings will pass only after you let them go through you and live them.
Take Care of Your Body
It is tempting to cope by consuming junk food and TV shows for an easy dopamine rush, but that will only make you feel worse in the long run and you will be spiraling down, instead of going up.
Taking care of your body by exercising and eating healthy will make you feel more in control of your own life and it will give you the confidence necessary to overcome the breakup.
Exercising also releases endorphins in the brain, which are one of the four happiness hormones, so you will naturally feel better after some exercise.
Don’t Stalk Him
The temptations after a breakup are many. One of the biggest of them is stalking your ex on social media.
That way you’re never going to heal as you’re constantly reopening the wound.
Even if you decided to stay friends, you need time to heal, so it’s best to block him. That will prevent you from being tempted to look at his profile.
Get Back to Old Hobbies
Remember those things that used to make you happy? When we’re in a relationship, it’s natural to give more time to our partner and less time to our hobbies, so we kind of get away from them.
During a breakup, they are the things that are going to give you positive emotions and help you heal more easily.
Whether it’s painting, dancing, doing crafts, or practicing a sport, you will find comfort in that activity.
If you haven’t had a hobby soon, think about what you most loved doing as a teenager or a kid and give it a try.
New achievements and advancement in your hobby will also make you feel good and confident. This is one of the best ways to turn a breakup into a positive thing.
Remove All Triggers
Many things are going to spark memories that will reopen the wound, so it’s best to eliminate all items in your home that you associate with your ex.
There could also be songs that remind you of him, and it might be tempting to indulge in listening to these precise songs but do your best not to. We can’t emphasize this enough.
Expect Setbacks
Healing from a relationship doesn’t happen overnight and there are many drawbacks. It’s normal to start feeling better but then at one point go back to your old state of misery.
Give yourself time to completely heal and stabilize your state. Beating yourself over becoming sad again will only slow down the healing process, while accepting your emotions as they come will let them pass sooner.