Should you Stay Friends With Your Ex – What do Experts Say

Staying friends with the person you’ve recently broken up with – would it turn out to be a massive disaster, or could it actually grow into something positive? It’s a never-ending debate, and if you are looking for one straight answer, you are probably not going to get it.

Maybe you’ve been suffering from the breakup and need that person in your life in one way or another, or he is the one that is trying to get back to you by trying to be friends. Every case is different – don’t expect that there is one rule for all.

Think the situation over for yourself, and don’t follow automatically any advice that tells you its compulsory to act one way or the other, no matter if the advice it’s coming from your friends.

You are not alone – millions of girls are asking themselves that question. That is why we are giving you this key to understanding if you should keep your ex in your life after a breakup.

Staying friends with your Ex – How to Know it’s a Good Idea

The general statistic shows that more friendships between ex’s have negative consequences, but still there are cases, in which that friendship could actually turn into something good. In these situations, the breakup turns out to have been a blessing in disguise.

Here’s how to know when to go for it, or to burn bridges.

Red Flags for the Perfect Storm

In some cases, it’s a lot easier to know what you are supposed to do – if the relationship was toxic and abusive, the breakup is clearly the right moment to cut ties. Otherwise, that person could keep poisoning your life and find ways to manipulate you by forcing you to stay friends.

Even if the relationship was not a bad one, however, still it might not be a good decision to be friends, since it could only add insult to injury after a breakup.

If the ending was chaotic and left you with bad feelings, even if your memories of the relationship were positive, it might not be a good move to try and stay pals. Maybe that will be possible after you let some time pass and process the feelings.

The major reason why it might not be a good idea to hold onto the friendship is that there is a high chance it could prevent you from moving on and finding a new relationship. Feelings are something fragile, and staying close to somebody you are trying to forget could only make it harder, which will result in your suffering.

Signs it could actually work

Even though the friendship doesn’t work out in more cases, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go for it, if the signs say it’s completely healthy.

Here’s how to know that it’s okay to stay friends with your ex:

• The relationship ended in a civilized manner;
• You have let go of them;
• You don’t have romantic feelings anymore;
• You are at peace with the break-up;
• You truly don’t feel bad when they are dating other people;
• You miss the friendship more than the sex.

The last one could be easily neglected, and let’s admit it – it could be really tempting to keep having sexual relations after the breakup, but that would lead to more of a disaster than a friendship. If you want to be staying friends, that should mean only that you want this person to stay in your life since you value him platonically as a person.

The only way you could know if it’s completely safe to leave the door open after a breakup is to make sure that all romantic feelings toward the person are gone. If that’s the case, and all the above points are true, you can consider it perfectly healthy to stay pals.

What are the ways, however, to make the friendship with an ex really work, and not turn into something bad again?

How to succeed in staying friends

Bear in mind that you can’t really become best friends with a person you’ve just ended a romantic relationship with. If it seems that that’s the case, then there are probably still leftover feelings deep down that could erupt in some point.

Remember to give the platonic feelings enough time to develop and not rush anything. Make sure to take a break for a while after the breakup, especially from following the person on social media, since in most cases that would lead to jealousy and bad feelings.

Always set healthy boundaries for such a friendship and remember to prioritize your new romantic partner and not make him feel like the second person. He should be feeling comfortable about you maintaining a friendship with the ex.

Be honest at all times about how the situation makes you feel, and if it seems like its preventing you from moving on, maybe it’s after all better to let it go.